the one with Love & Respect

Saturday mornings hold a special place in my heart.

The week's work is done, the house is clean, the sheets are washed, the hubby is home (usually), and it's time to spend time as a family.

Saturday mornings in our house, we don't like to sleep the day away so we get up at a decent hour. Isaac typically hops straight in the shower, so I'll get a start on breakfast. We always, always eat cinnamon rolls on Saturday morning, along with orange juice (I'm partial to German orange juice) and coffee of course. After we're done eating we read our Bibles, pray, and read a chapter in a book.

We received a book a few years ago when we got married, "Love and Respect." I remember reading through the first few chapters and thinking to myself, "this can't be true. Surely my husband values my love more than he values my respect." I was almost irritated with the idea, so I stopped reading it and moved on to another book.

I picked up the book again last year because I have a strong interest in marriage and marriage counseling, and I couldn't seem to find anything new to read. My outlook completely changed after the first chapter, and now we are reading it together as a couple.

Men need respect. Women crave love.

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

Ladies, we are wired to love, nurture, and care for those around us. You can see this in a way that mother cares for her child. Men however are wired completely different. Think about a man going off to war, being willing to die for honor, his country, his family.

It took me a while to realize and accept the fact that my husband desires my respect more than my love. I mean how is that possible?

As foreign as a concept that it is, let me tell you - it works! This is not popular in today's culture, but that's okay with me. Why? I have seen first hand - daily - that it works.

The more I show my husband respect, the more he shows me love. The more he shows me love, the more I show him respect.

Unconditional.

Notice that it isn't conditional. Just as you expect your husband to love you unconditionally with all your flaws, you are to show him unconditional respect. You can not base your behavior on whether you think the other person deserves it or not.

There are many times (especially before I've had my morning coffee), that my husband chooses to love me even though I do not deserve it. He typically does this by sweetly bringing me coffee. And you know what that does? It changes my attitude completely. His love, not the coffee. I suddenly want to show him how much I respect and appreciate him. It works the other way as well.

How do I show my husband respect?

Let me start by saying this - by no means are you to be a doormat that should be walked all over. Isaac frequently comes to me for my opinion or thoughts, but ultimately he is the decision maker and authority in our home.

So you may be wondering, how do I show my husband respect?

There are many things as a wife that you can do, but I'll share the top three that work for me.

• Support him completely in his job.

• Respecting his decisions without arguing.

• Seeing myself as his helpmate and best friend

By no means do we have the perfect marriage, or have it all figured out. By the grace of God, we do have a really great marriage and better understanding of one another.

I'll leave a link below for the book Love and Respect written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Workbook-Desires-Desperately-ebook/dp/B003X271R2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1499972668&sr=8-2&keywords=love+and+respect